Reality

Well, I have lots to share about the past month. But for the moment I just wanted to confess that I am feeling very worried about what I'm going to do post-MBA that will allow me to have a life with my children. It's hard to feel like there are meaningful, exciting jobs out there that don't require crazy hours. (And when am I supposed to exercise anyway?) Normally I try to stay positive and feel that I'll figure it out, but after yesterday's Career Immersion program, I'm feeling disheartened. Well, I have lots of research to do. I am also trying to start a Mothers in Business group at the GSB which will help give me some support and be a good way to find out how other alums do it. My general feeling is that I really should be able to do whatever my male counterparts with children can do, I can certainly hire good childcare. I don't feel that I need to be there for my children's every moment. But I don't want to be largely absent from their lives. I am not willing to do that. And I don't know of a lot of 40 hour a week jobs that I want to do ...

Then I think, well, this is where I am forced to start my own business. But that's also a ton of work and I can't think of a business to start that I'd enjoy. I'm not exactly in the position to start my own hedge fund at the moment.

Then, I think I just need to have patience. Maybe I have to compromise a bit while the babies are young and can really pour myself into my work once they start school. I just have to be patient. But it's so hard. I've worked so hard and made so many sacrifices to make myself uber employable ... I don't want to wait anymore.