So it is Friday, but I'm not happy in the least about it. So far on campus recruiting in the coming weeks is just hedge funds and I'm not getting any invites which is probably just as well but it's scary because if my interviews this week don't turn into something ... I have to scramble to find something off campus. I expected to hear back by the end of today on at least some of my interviews and so far one ding and lots of nothing. It's hard to know that invites and rejections are going out from the firms that you interviewed with and have no idea which you are. On the one hand, no ding is good, but a ding brings great relief too. I hate the waiting.
I know it's premature but frankly I'm feeling very depressed. It's just been a really hard week with lots of stress and little sleep and it's really painful to know that the odds are not in my favor. It's hard to know that hard work and preparation does not guarantee success, unfortunately, luck and unpredictable intangible factors are a huge piece of it too.
And this is sort of a side tangent but I get sort of tired of being the only woman - there seem to be very few women on the closed lists and I didn't have a single woman interview me this week, aside from a couple women HR directors who sat in with the analyst/PM. Absolutely none of the analysts or PMs were women. It's just weird and sometimes makes me a bit anxious that my gender is not helping my success ... I doubt it but it's hard to shake. I'm curious how non-white candidates feel about the race question ... do you think about it?
Well, I know it will all work out in the end. But right now I just feel shitty. That's the barebones truth.
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3 comments:
i totally and completely hear you. with a few dings of my own, i have mixed feelings of whether i will make it, and what to do next...this past week has been rough....here's to better luck for both of us next week. hang in there!
you read my blog, so you know i'm not exactly "conventional" in my approach to anything. conventional on-campus recruiting is designed to make you feel shitty unless you are taking the path taken by MBAs before you (traditonal i-banking or consulting).
i recruited for IM and had a bitch of a time via the on-campus stuff because i hadn't worked in EQ research prior and i hadn't been in industry before (i.e. they couldn't hire me to cover IT). i am also a long-term investor, so when i pitched them a boring stock like MKC or LQU or SAM and said they'd see a 20-30% return over a 3-5 year time horizon, they looked at me like i was nuts.
the upside is that off-campus proved much better. i got two good offers: EQ research for a focused research outfit and IM consulting with a top 3 IM consultant, AND i was able to get a fall internship at a ratings agency through connections i made during the summer.
bottom line: feel shitty about it for a week or so. feel free to wallow. but don't let it get you down because if you are serious about your career (i think you are), you will take the time to find the internship and FT position that's right for you. it'll be harder, but ultimately it'll be more rewarding.
I bet by now you've slept and feel much more cheerful. Congratulations on running the gauntlet this week! I'm sure you did well. And that none of the analysts or PMs were women ... I certainly hope these people don't consider you negatively because you are! But it's something to consider when you look at the culture of the firm.
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