I should be sleeping

It's occurred to me that just waiting and not being able to do anything was nice. Now that I have an invite and so much rides on it since it's the only school I've applied to, I'm very anxious, and not sleeping happily as I should be. I absolutely agonized over the email to my interviewer and have been trolling the forums again. I decided to get a little help from the MBA consultant pre-interview, just to have a chance to ask some questions, but not to do a mock interview. I think that will make me more nervous and less 'natural'. I was reading back posts from one of my favorite bloggers (wakechick) and she said she didn't overprepare for the interview so she wouldn't sound canned which sounded pretty right on to me. But I do have some questions and wanted to ask 'my' consultant rather than just posting to forums. She brought up the fact that she thinks me being pregnant could be a negative so it's better to do the interview sooner than later before I get too much bigger. I hadn't thought of that at all. Could that be possible? Sort of a downer. A lady has got to have babies some time! It's bad enough that I don't think I could get a job right now but that I can't get into school? ... I hope that's not the case. Just depends on the alum's preferences I suppose. His bio seems very impressive - I looked him up. He graduated from Chicago in 1997.

If I get in I have lots to say about this whole process, but I don't want to go too much into some of my inner thoughts and reflections just yet. (Hint: I am not particularly confident about this whole process or myself in it.) I haven't wanted to put my blog out in the public realm yet, it's sort of just a brain dump/diary for myself at this point. But if I'm successful, I'll want to "go public" to offer myself up as a resource to other applicants but I just realized I'm not really sure how to 'go public' anyway. Well, can worry about that later. I must go to bed now! I slept in a little bit this a.m. and left the apartment at 7 a.m. and traffic was already a disaster. No more sleeping in.

(The benefit, or drawback, of using consultants, depending on your perspective - is that they're a super reality check. Very good for pointing out the worst possible scenario. That's what I'm paying them for but it's a little unnerving. Just a little food for thought ... no, but I do think it was worth the money. I'll post more about that later, if it turns out I was right ...)